Always strange when you start a new blog. Not sure what to write about and who would even read it. I am sitting here wide awake at 1 AM after too many cups of coffee today and a long road trip with 2 fussy toddlers and a friend. I watched Coraline tonight, strange movie by the way but it was very eye opening for me (no pun intended, ok maybe a little ;).
My daughter Lorelei is the love of my life but lately she's been so hard to deal with. I know it's the age, she's almost 3 (January) but I've really been taking stock in a lot and I feel like I am affecting her and in not a good way. Lying in bed tonight as my husband sleeps I couldn't sleep and felt convicted of having my priorities off, WAY OFF. I have been working hard over the last few years growing my art business and striving (key word) to be published, be noticed, have a following and be successful. Nothing wrong with being successful but it's bad if it gets in the way of your family and raising your children. I may never have another kid, who knows I may have 3 but if I can't do my best in raising up my daughter on a daily basis I shouldn't be blessed with more. I have found myself getting annoyed if I'm trying to blog on my art blog and she comes over to talk to me. I get upset if she wants to create with me and I'm in the "zone" and that's just not right. She's been throwing fits and attitudes at me a lot lately and how I respond isn't helping. Today she was so defiant I was yelling at her and I feel so awful about it. We've made up and there is no bad blood but I'm failing as a mother at the moment and need to make some changes. I know it.
Starting today I am going to only create art for Bad Girls Project 52 (I'm on the design team for a year) and create art for fun and with Lorelei. If I sell a piece of art because someone likes it, then great! I'm not going to mass promote it on Twitter, my blog and Facebook it's such a waste of time and takes up too much of my time with little or no response. Life is too short to live it online trying to make your life grand. Yeah there are critics who will say you need something for you, you need a hobby. Yes that's right but I have a responsibility to my girl and there is always time for hobbies in the future. I'm not quitting all together I'm just changing my focus. I feel like there will be a blessing for her and for me in this. She needs me and I need her. I'm going to start exploring hobbies with her and nurturing her the way I should be. Just typing this is freeing and I know I'm making the right decision. Follow us on this journey if you like. This blog is where I'm going to post our grand adventures and times together. Her and I. Because of that I need less online activities to maintain. I am offering 40% OFF everything in my ArtFire and Etsy shop, even sales items. I just want it gone and need to start fresh with her. 40% OFF until it's all gone! Life is too short people!! I hope you understand!